Poetry and Survivor stories

 

Why do we have a Poetry section? many people feel that Poetry is an outlet and distraction, Poetry, Spoken word and sharing your Abuse Story can also help in the healing process and be an inspiration to others who are still trying to find the courage to leave and speak out, Would you like to Share your Story? Submit yours Here.

 

Can't deal with the hurt, I feel so alone
Surrounded by people but none of them know
They think I'm strong, I've always been tough
But lipstick and smiles are still not enough
I want to erase it, to undo what he did
Instead I relive it, the fear and the dread
the One who does matter doesn't yet share my pain
Keeping it from him drives me insane
I fear I am broken, spoiled, destroyed
Will he still want me?
He is gone, still deployed
Who is to blame for the mess that I am
I blame the thief, he was No man
A coward who waited to pounce on his prey
Didn't take long once my husband went away
I was off limits and I made it clear
He could not have me
but he didn't want to hear
I want to breathe, I want to live
I can not die today
I did survive, but I still mourn
For the part of me he took away.

-Sarah

 

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To the men that abuse their women,
Thank you for our gender's shame;
I feel embarassed, now, to be a man'
And I owe you all the blame.

Women aren't property, they're blessings,
And even you know it's true;
That even though you are pathetic filth,
A woman gave your life to you.

Do you feel proud to be her son,
As you beat the one you love?
How about when you rot in jail,
Then answer to Him above?

How will the pain feel, all of it,
When it's given to you to share;
For I can only tell you where to go,
But He will put you there.

Then the hotseat will be all yours,
Not as comfy as the throne on which you sat;
And you will no longer control a thing,
Not even the thermostat.

I hope it'll be hot enough for ya,
As you moan and cry and twitch;
You may have called her a worthless whore,
But you'll be Satan's little bitch.

Ron Stoutenburg © 2007

https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5445/17581428161_dd9c9ebef0_o

Unbroken vows

If I had only known you'd give just one thing to me,
It was your promise on our wedding day-the one didn't keep.

You promised you would cherish me until we both grew old,
The only vows you took to heart was "To Have" and "To Hold".

"To Have" me? I'm a prisoner, an object standing still.
"To Hold" me? Yes, you've done that too, but against my will.

If walls could tell their stories, and doors unlocked themselves,
Everyone would have a view into my secret hell.

Crazy? That is what you want me to think I am,
Telling me you meant no harm....and that you never will again.

The nights you tower over me just to make me feel
As if the blame and shame are mine-and my feelings are not real.

But you don't know that with each blow and hurt you have to give,
The more you build my silent nerve, and my will to live.

You think that you have won, I'm broken on the ground,
But you don't know the plans in place and strength that I have found.

Just know there will come a day, not far within my reach,
The only things to grip my soul are happiness and peace

https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5338/17581487031_6e850dcabd_o

No Happy Ending

by Hayley, not a princess.

I believe in my destiny, and believe in my fate,
I know that whatever, my life has its date.
And while I have choices, and things I must do,
I trust that my heart will carry me through.

You think you can see what I feel, what I am,
With your shallow vision, there's no way that you can.
You know that I'm broken, but call me insane,
To me it was special, to you just a game.

The good times were false, not one of them real,
You took hold of my heart and fed me the spiel.
Conquered my body, then mastered my mind,
Now I can see why they say that loves blind.

You cheated and conned me so evil and cruel,
Called me your stalker to make me the fool.
I loved you so deeply with nothing to gain
All that you gave me was heartache and pain.

You shouldn't have hurt me, no one deserves that,
Then thought you could fix it with coffee and chat.
I played on your team for two solid years
Bitter and angry I'm all out of tears.

The thing is darling; I'm stronger than you
And Insane, I agree! Who knows what I will do.
Plans to destroy you race through my brain,
The way you destroyed me again and again.

Full time already, you say that I've won
There's no defeat yet, the games not begun.
You'll be the one to surrender it all
Because I'm in your court and I have the ball!

If I were the person that you now perceive
I would take out revenge, that, I'm sure you believe.
However, I'm not, you still don't know ME
My name is Hayley, not psycho or she!

No feelings of hatred or wanting you dead
That of sadness, disbelief and lost love instead.
Honesty and respect what I wanted from you,
Left with just memories but which ones were true?

Sometimes I pray that my broken heart stops
Or that I might drown in my endless teardrops.
My emotions a blur, so much which needs mending
I can't be a princess, there's no happy ending?

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August 22, 1999 the day I became a victor vs a victim. For years I'd been abused mentally, physically, verbally and accepted this behavior until my son saw him hit me. It was at that very moment I knew I would no longer take anything less than what I and my children were worthy of. I stashed small amounts of cash and shared my story with the Manager at an apartment complex who allowed me to move in no deposit or 1st month rent. On my day of becoming a Victor I packed we left and I'm still upright today. I am a SURVIVOR but more importantly am a TESTIMONY!" -Sheila B.

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              By Michelle N. Loconte

"I always remember who I am today is because of the experience I have had: good and bad. I will never forget December 22. I stayed because I thought love was enough to conquer all."

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Because he told me I was hard to love and no one would ever put up with me like he does.  #WhyiStayed #AbuseIsNotLove

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Do you see me?
Do you see what you do?
You had  me wrapped around your finger
I dont know what to do.
Our love became intoxicating,
I was blind by the thought of you
It took me a minute,
I didnt pick up on the clues
That you loved me so much
You turned me black and blue.
At first I thought it was an accident,
Because how you cried and held me so close,
knowing how I was able to forgive you like I always do,
my love surpassed your wrong, I was mistaken..
Cause 3 days later I was beaten so bad , that i couldnt walk.
I told everyone that I wasnt feeling good, the fear of you seeped in.
The love of my life murdered me from within
when the words i love you were said by the carrier of my heart
because I knew any minute that illusionist would change back to the monster he was.
Every punch you threw screamed I love you!,
Every kick you did screamed I care!,
Every time you would talk, 
bullets flew through the air.
Striking me tearing my flesh apart , wounding not just my heart
but my soul that you promised to protect.
I was broken inside and out,
My only chance of survival was to run away as fast as i can,
and leave my heart behind,
That heart was filled with evil ,jealousy , infatuated promises of love.
I had to be strong, I had to remember who I am,
to learn all over again what God deemed as a good man.


 

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By Jessica Emily

I remember the day I was told this like it was yesterday. "You're asking for it Jessica. It's your fault. You can't blame anyone but yourself" The person that told me this was someone I looked up to dearly. Someone who I put on a huge pedestal in my life. Still, I was told that what was happening to me was without a doubt, my fault. What else was I suppose to think? I was told him telling me how beautiful I was every day was because of how I presented myself. That i chose to dress how I was and wear makeup, so what did I expect? What on earth was I even thinking at 12 years old to start wanting to express myself? Why was I setting this up to be my life? Most importantly why would I say anything about something that was my fault? I would only be getting myself in trouble. And with that, I kept quiet for years. In fact I didn't say anything until 7 years later. I was a lucky one as many carry the burden of abuse all there lives. Please think before you victim shame.